While the youth today are increasingly open about their romantic relationships, they are equally open and proud about being single. This is new, since there is a great deal of stigma still associated with being single. Depending on the age of the person and their prior dating history, they may face comments such as:
- You have always been single because nobody wants to be in a relationship with you
- By this age, you should find a partner and settle down
- You can’t spend your entire life alone
- How will you raise children alone?
- If you reject everyone now, there will be nobody left to even accept soon
These are just a few remarks that single people face on a regular basis from people who seem to care about their well-being, but not care about their choices. You are an adult after all, and if you choose to remain single, that is your choice about your life. This is a choice that ought to be respected and not continuously questioned.
People may choose to stay single for a variety of reasons. Maybe you have just gotten out of a relationship and you need a break, maybe you are looking to date but haven’t found the right person yet, perhaps you are asexual or aromantic and are just not interested in romantic relationships. All of these reasons, amongst others, are entirely valid and acceptable. However, the pressure from others around you may stress you out at times.
Source: Photo by Kevin Lehtla on Unsplash
Here are some things you can do to deal with this pressure and stress better!
Work on improving existing relationships
While some of us are on the lookout for new partners and relationships, we fail to appreciate the ones we already have. Spend more time with your close, loved ones and cherish your relationships with them. Engage in shared activities and bond together. Fulfil your need for affection and relations by focusing on the quality of your existing relationships.
Channel your time and energy into activities you enjoy
If you are simply taking a break from dating, this is the best thing you can do for yourself. Reconnect with yourself and explore your interests. Rekindle your passion for your favorite hobbies and devote your free time and energy into these activities. While people in relationships often do not have enough time to spend with themselves, you do! Utilise this time to the fullest and be your biggest supporter.
Surround yourself with supportive and like minded people
While you cannot always avoid the unnecessary comments and remarks from other people about your dating life, what you can do is find like minded people. Perhaps you could bond with some other single friends of yours who do not challenge or question your choice to remain single. By doing so, you are creating a positive, accepting space for yourself. Being with these people will not just automatically lower the remarks you receive from people around you, but you will also be able to vent to them and discuss your actual concerns with them.
Notice the relationships of others in their entirety
Some of us, although single by choice, tend to feel inferior or hurt when looking at others in their happy relationships. At this point, having an objective outlook towards relationships can help. If you can’t help noticing happy couples around you, remind yourself of all the fights and bitterness in relationships that you have also noticed. Being conscious of the fact that relationships are not always happy and rosy will help ground you and let you be at peace with singlehood.
Explain yourself to well-meaning commentators
Although many people passing remarks are not genuinely interested in knowing why you are single in the first place, some people might. You may have some friends or parents or close relatives who can actually benefit from understanding your perspective. Instead of shunning them and not offering any explanation, try giving them your side of the story. Who knows, they might change their mind and become more supportive?
